YouSuck: These Five Bands Are The Ones MetalSucks Readers Get Freaky To

Awwww yeah. Put down your post-boning cigarettes, fix your hair, and get ready to find out which bands you — the MetalSucks reader like to listen to while you get down and dirty. This, of course, was the natural result of a story we ran last week that suggested metalheads liked to fuck to Slipknot, System of a Down, and Deftones. I personally couldn’t understand why two of those bands made that list, but to each their own, I guess.

We gave you guys a list of bands to choose from, as well as the option to fill in your own answer. Some of you chucklefucks put some humorous answers, others gave some decent answers. ng to chalk that up to you guys were either too embarrassed that you’re not getting any (don’t worry, tiger, it’ll happen for you soon enough) or you don’t want to share your super secret sexy time tech when the unwashed masses.

Still, the results aren’t too surprising if I’m being honest. So without further ado, here are the bands that get to be your background noise for your trips to bonetown.

Type O Negative

When I initially saw that survey, this was the band I thought would be the top band that researchers cited. It’s undeniable that the dark, gothic, oftentimes tongue-in-cheek tunes have a sexy undertone through most of it. Peter Steele’s voice alone makes Type O’s inclusion at the top of the list by itself. “Black No. 1”, “Be My Druidess”, “Christian Woman”, “Love You To Death”… the list goes on and on.


This was the top band in the research study and there’s no secret why. Deftones have become the defacto sexy band to play behind all those TikTok videos of thirst traps trying to look just sexy enough to get you to subscribe to their OnlyFans. Even so, there’s plenty of songs to get freaky to if you’re so inclined, including “You’ve Seen The Butcher”, “Lhabia”, and of course “Change (In The House Of Flies)” can get the mood going.

Nine Inch Nails

Nine Inch Nails also made the aforementioned survey’s top bands, but only in one category — they were the top band used in playlists about BDSM. And that tracks so fucking hard, if we’re being honest. One listen to “Closer” and I don’t know about you but I immediately think whips, chains, leather… the whole nine. A lot of Nine Inch Nails has a sense of submission to it. “Sunspots” gets hot and “Suck” is a pretty obvious choice.


People just can’t get enough of Mikael Åkerfeldt. This progressive metal act got a decent amount of love in our poll. Admittedly, I’ve never really considered their music particularly sexy compared to the other bands, but different strokes, I guess.

Sleep Token

This one isn’t a shock at all, though I’d have expected this to be way higher, if we’re being honest. This band’s ability to mix modern metal sensibilities with that of R&B and pop gives it an accessible listen that anyone with an open mind can really enjoy. Just like Deftones, these guys got a massive boost on social media. However, listen to “Take Me Back to Eden” and tell me it doesn’t belong here on this list.


Products You May Like

Articles You May Like

Donald Glover Nominated for Mr. & Mrs. Smith Acting and Writing at 2024 Emmy Awards
Video: Memphis Bleek Ft. Kruziano, Dre “Bands Up”
Physical music sales set for first increase in 20 years
Tom Verlaine – Warm And Cool / Songs And Other Things / Around
Tenacious D’s Kyle Gass Jokes About Trump’s Attempted Assassination During Concert

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *