It’s the end of the day, the sun’s going down, and you know what that means. If you’ve got a partner, it’s time to get freakyyyyy. You know, do the horizontal cha-cha. Make whoopee. Get it on. You know — fuck.
But you can’t just jump into the activity, can you? You gotta set the mood. Gotta get things flowin’, so to speak. Naturally, music’s a big help, so you head over to your record player, reach out for that LP you enjoy, and as your partner walks in, they hear the tell-tale sound that love making is about to occur: HERE COMES THE PAIN!!!
According to a recent study conducted by ZipHealth, heavy metal is the seventh most played music during sexy times. You freaky little bitches love your metal so much, you’re willing to use Joey Jordison double-bass as your rhythmic template for love making. That’s fucking admirable.
Researchers analyzed more than 11,000 songs from nearly 150 playlists to determine which artists, songs, and genres were the most prominent on various sex playlists. They also surveyed more than 1,000 people to learn more detailed information about their bonetown soundtracks.
What they found was that Deftones actually cracked the list of most prominent artists, landing number three overall. Chino Moreno’s voice wasn’t only popular with normies either, as it was the number one band on the list of metal bands, followed by Slipknot and System of a Down. Because nothing says “let’s fuck” like nine grown men in fucked up masks and politically charged songs rallying against endless war and pizza pies.
But that’s not all. Researchers also looked at the top songs that showed up in specific playlist keywords and the top BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism and masochism) song was “Closer” by Nine Inch Nails. In that same category, Nine Inch Nails was the top artist, with Deftones landing as the fourth most popular.
How do metal fans stack up in the sack? Researchers didn’t necessarily find that out, but they did learn that metal fans last about 30.8 minutes, which makes it the fourth-longest fuck session among all the genres. Metal fans were also the most likely to have a fetish (72%) and have participated in a threesome (54%). Metalheads were also found to be the second most likely to have a one-night stand (82%) and participate in an orgy (21%).
So there ya have it, friends. Metalheads are nerds, cool as hell, and know how to fuck. Use that information however you will — safely, of course.