We’re not going to lie: we imagine opening for Bon Jovi to be one of the more harrowing experiences in the world. This isn’t because Bon Jovi are inherently terrible, or even that their fans are that bad. It’s more that you’d be playing to an audience of people who have been listening to, tipsily singing, and raring to hear a handful of Bon Jovi songs for the 48 hours leading up to a show, and here you are, not playing those songs. That said, if opening for Bon Jovi has always been your dream as a burgeoning band, then you’re in luck, because Jon Bon and Co. are giving you an opportunity to open for them.
As reported by Ultimate Classic Rock, the big BJ is offering local bands at select cities a chance to open for them. Bands can apply for the prestigious position via this website by uploading a video featuring your own original music.
We’re stoked about this idea for one reason and one reason only: PORNOGRIND. We want a band from Omaha named Mutilated Dog Cervix or whatever to open for Bon Jovi, and leave a bunch of blue-collar everypeople agape with their sonic assault and lyrical depravity (and hey, if you’re in a pornogrind band, leaving things agape is par for the course).
See your friends do their damnedest before Bon Jovi come on at one of the following dates:
April 1 – Omaha, NE @ CHI Health Center
April 3 – St. Paul, MN @ Xcel Energy Center
April 5 – Milwaukee, WI @ Fiserv Forum
April 8 – Charlotte, NC @ Spectrum Center
April 9 – Raleigh, NC @ PNC Arena
April 11 – Greenville, SC @ Bon Secours Wellness Arena
April 13 – Savannah, GA @ Enmarket Arena
April 15 – Tampa, FL @ Amalie Arena
April 16 – Ft. Lauderdale, FL @ FLA Live Arena
April 19 – Indianapolis, IN @ Gainbridge Fieldhouse
April 21 – St. Louis, MO @ Enterprise Center
April 23 – Austin, TX @ Moody Center
April 26 – Houston, TX @ Toyota Center
April 28 – Dallas, TX @ American Airlines Center
April 30 – Nashville, TN @ Bridgestone Arena