Happy hump day, suckers! Smokey Goretooth is back again with a new “Do I Suck?,” MetalSucks’ version of “Am I The Asshole?” where we take real life horror stories and bring them to our readers to decide if the OP sucks for some bullshit they may or may not have done.
This week’s submission comes from a user named “swift_skipper3,” who’s wondering if they suck for doing something I’m sure we’ve all wanted to do before.
I was on one this weekend. My friends and I went to one of our favorite local dive bars, and something I really like about it is that usually the bartenders are playing their own music and take requests, but there’s one of those touchscreen digital jukebox things there, too. That part only ever sucks when non-regulars come in and put on whatever they want, which is how I ended up in this situation…
A group of youths came in there (they were probably in their early 20s, I am in my 30s), and all of us sitting belly up had never seen them before. The bartender even rolled their eyes, because they knew they were just gonna be annoying. It was obviously they had come from another bar, maybe even more than one, based on how they were acting, and once I saw one of them clock the jukebox I knew we were in trouble.
Not even 10 minutes went by before Taylor Swift was blasting over the speakers. She’s not at all what I (and most of the people who usually go to that bar) want to listen to after we’ve knocked a few back. I always get boilermakers, and at that point I had already had three or four, so I was feeling extra petty. We were on the fifth Taylor Swift song in a row when I decided I had enough.
What many people don’t realize is that if you pay extra, you can skip songs in the queue on the jukebox to play your picks first, and that’s exactly what I did. I was trying to think of what would categorically be the opposite of anything pop-like, and then I thought about one of my favorite Spotify playlists that’s just a grip of hard butt rock from the 90s and 2000s. Next thing I knew, I was loading that bitch up with all of the finest booty rock I could find — Adema, Five Finger Death Punch, Shinedown, and of course, Creed. I”m not even sure how many songs I picked, but I do remember the collective sigh of disappointment that came from the girls in that group, and it was the funniest thing to me at the time.
They thought maybe I had only skipped a couple of their songs, but after like five of my picks played, one of the girls got REALLY upset and starting going on about how much money she put in the jukebox because she really really wanted to listen to Taylor. She said she paid for 21 Taylor Swift songs. 21! There was no way I was going to stand for that, no matter how she wanted to listen to them.
Someone in her group caught me laughing about how upset she was, and came up to me and said how rude I was being because it wasn’t fair that her friend paid for stuff she wasn’t going to hear. I just shrugged my shoulders and took a sip of my beer, which I guess irritated this girl more since she called me an asshole and stormed back to her group. A few minutes later, the group left, and balance was restored again.
Do I really suck for doing this, though? I think it’s worse that girl thought that anyone in that establishment (most of us regulars are metalheads, skaters, punks, bikers, etc.) would want to listen to that much Taylor Swift in a row. Like, come on.
Well, there you have it, folks. Is swift_skipper3 really a sucky asshole for doing this? Personally, as a petty princess, I probably would’ve done the same thing.