Smokey Goretooth reporting for duty with a new “Do I Suck?,” MetalSucks’ version of “Am I The Asshole?” where we take real life horror stories and bring them to our readers to decide if the OP sucks for some bullshit they may or may not have done.
This week we have a submission I expected to come through at some point, considering Warped Tour just happened in Long Beach. Read on…
I want to preface with saying that I’m never actually trying to hurt anyone by doing this, but the whole thing has gotten little out of hand. I’ve been seeing a lot of online debate lately about whether or not you have to catch stage divers and crowd surfers when they’re coming your way, and I’m here to say (anonymously) that no, I don’t think you have to, and I certainly don’t anymore.
When I was younger it was much easier. But also, it seemed like back in the day, crowd surfers were people that you could basically throw around like a football. Maybe I’ve just aged out of all my strength, and I’m not body shaming anyone, but now so many people that coming flying off the stage are like 6’5″ and the size of a linebacker or something, and my knees just can’t handle it anymore.
I was at Warped Tour over the weekend, and there were SEVERAL times while I was in the crowd that I straight up moved out of the way or ducked when I saw a surfer heading towards me. It was too hot, and my knees were giving out within the first like three hours of the festival. I’m not sure what everyone wants from me, but if you’re the size of The Undertaker and I see you flying off the stage, I’m doing my best to avoid making any sort of contact with you. At a few different sets at Warped I legit just let people fall. They didn’t all hit the ground, but it definitely made other people have to work harder to have to keep this person afloat, and that is just not the life I want for myself anymore.
Look, I’m in my almost-40’s, and I don’t feel like standing near the front two-thirds of the stage should mean I’m in a contract of getting kicked and punched in the face and covered in all of your ungodly body sweat and viruses just because you don’t want to watch the actual performance and I do. At one point people started to notice how much I was actively avoiding surfers and at times, loudly groaning about their presence. I could tell everyone around me was starting to get annoyed, but I WAS ALSO ANNOYED that I basically paid for heatstrokes and facial injuries when all I wanted to do was see who I came to see.
I’ve seen a few posts online about how they should implement age, weight, and wardrobe restrictions for crowd surfers and I’m honestly starting to agree. Does that make me a sucky person though, or someone who just wants to get back home at the end of the night relatively unscathed?
A hot button debate, surely. As an elder (both in terms of how long I’ve been in the scene AND my actual age) I feel torn. What do you suckers think?