Smokey Goretooth reporting for duty with a new “Do I Suck?,” MetalSucks’ version of “Am I The Asshole?” where we take real life horror stories and bring them to our readers to decide if the OP sucks for some bullshit they may or may not have done.
This week’s submission comes from a user called “working_class_ass,” who is questioning whether the reason was good enough. You’ll see what I mean…
I work at a really popular bar/restaurant in a small college town, so it’s usually busy at night even during the week. Because of this, it makes it hard to call out sometimes even when you have good reason, and on this particular night, I feel like I had a great one.
So everyone at work knows I’m a huge fan of Ozzy Osbourne and I was absolutely gutted when he died. None of my coworkers listen to the same music as I do and don’t really pay attention to most things happening in the metal world, so I had a feeling that likely none of them knew that Ozzy Day was a thing. I already knew once I saw I was scheduled for that day that I was going to call out, and I started soft launching being sick the day before to make it more believable. When I was at work that Tuesday, I mentioned how I ate Taco Bell before I came in and that my stomach was getting bubbly. Towards the end of the night, I was in and out of the bathroom — not actually using it but for the effect of it. I figured if anything, since we had a few cases of Cyclospora in my town, that if I’m blowing water out of my ass I for sure cannot come to work. Turns out I was right, because I got out of my shift on Ozzy Day very easily.
I spent most of that day and night drinking, listening to Sabbath and Ozzy records, and watching “Back to the Beginning.” It was amazing and I had a great night in honor of the dark prince, but apparently it sucked really bad for my coworkers. I was talking to one of them the other day about how that night went and he said it was incredibly busy, how everything kept going wrong, and how they really could’ve used me because no one was able to cover for me so they were down a person the whole shift. Without even thinking I said something about how I couldn’t miss the first Ozzy Day, and he looked at me super confused. He asked me what Ozzy Day was and I told him about it, and he instantly got pissed. ‘I thought you had diarrhea….’ he said as he stared at me with daggers. That’s when I knew I fucked up.
He then starts going off on me about how shitty it was of me to call out for something like that and leave the rest of them in the lurch, among other things. I guess he had one of his worst nights of all at work that night, and now thinks it’s directly my fault. I kept begging him not to tell our boss about it because I really don’t wanna get in trouble but I also I didn’t post anything on socials that could incriminate me if he were to go to my boss, so I might be in the clear since he’s the only one who knows I did this.
I do feel bad it was a rough night for my coworkers, but it was also a very rough night for us diehard Ozzy fans, and that’s why I don’t feel much worse. I honestly think Ozzy would’ve been proud of me and anyone else who did something like that that day, because why wouldn’t he be? I poured some out for him so he could have some in the afterlife, too.
My next shift is in a couple days and I’ll be working with that same coworker, and I’m nervous about how it’s gonna go since he got so upset with me. Do I really suck?
There you have it, folks. Is playing hooky for Ozzy a suckable offense?